How Meditation changed my life
To share your story is a brave thing to do. A lot of people have called me brave and strong in the past couple of years, it’s onus on what happened to me or the decisions I made. I feel more than bravery those decisions were based on self-love, so you can call them being wisely selfish. Though when you are making those decisions , you are utterly terrified instead of feeling brave like they say “ Bravery is being the only one who knows you are afraid.”
To cut to the chase I came to a point in my life where I was deeply unhappy , it took about seven odd years to get there too. I had lost a major relationship in my life and I was looking to overcompensate it with work, but somehow I was not able to find any. So here I was without a job , without anyone, carrying massive amount of guilt( misplaced, at least most of it ), heaps of self-doubt and absolutely zero self-esteem. I had always have a lot of health issues, but this situation just exacerbated it to another level. I had hit rock bottom officially.
To say it was tough would be an understatement, I was reeling in pain. I always been a strong person to begin with, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at some point in my twenties, my relationship karma has always sucked and it did affect me but I could still carry on like its nothing. I was born with a certain quality of courage, may be as a compensation for all the misfortune I had to face, oh its written all over my birth chart. I learnt astrology just to fix my chart later on. So it took everything to fail at once to affect me this greatly that I wanted to actually find out how can this be fixed. So effort can be made at a physical and emotional level, but soon I realized it will take me my entire lifetime to change this, so I arrived at the conclusion to do it spiritually. I had no inclination towards it, but that was my only Ray of hope. I figured out quickly that spiritually it will be the fastest way to fix my problems. So in a way the universe pushed me towards spirituality, pardon my language, but it left me no effing choice.
Like the master says “ Your trials did not come to punish you, but to awaken you. ” – Paramahansa Yogananda.
Pain is tough but once you start crossing through it at some point it starts showing you beautiful things about yourself. It is of course soul shattering, belief busting, totally transformative and very very exhausting. But like the singer Pink says I couldn’t have written these lovely songs if I hadn’t been in pain. So when I was sitting there with this mountain of pain over me, and all these feelings of unworthiness etc, I decided to heal myself . I decided to look inside , finds my gifts and share them. There is one more thing about pain, when you do something for others it gives away for a short while. For a while when you are not focusing on yourself , and so you are a channel of divine love and you can feel no pain in those moments. As I looked inside myself I found a gaping space which need to be filled in with self-love. I decided to work on my own self-worth , my own lack. This has nothing to do with anyone or anything that happened to me .It just had to be done .As I peeled the layers of this lack , I found it all starts with you and ends with you. In this journey of mine I might have helped others by pointing at the lack they have within, and if they worked on it , it helped them. And then I got excited by this journey and decided to find everything that was keeping me from being happy, and every aspect that is a hindrance in me valuing myself. I cannot have enough gratitude to stumble across Kriya yoga and my amazing lineage of GURU’s who then came into my life and totally transformed me. That’s when I realized that my birthchart or my circumstances are not me, I am a soul and I can change everything,
“Since all effects or seeds of our past actions, our karma can be destroyed by roasting them in the fire of meditation, concentration, the light of superconciousness and right actions. There is no such thing as fate, you make your own destiny “”- Paramahansa Yogananda.
So how and what changed in me just by practicing kriya everyday
- I became undefeatable : We have a flower called Aparajita in India and that flower is God’s favourite, it is as beautiful as other flowers of course but I think it must be Gods favourite because of its meaning, that you are not giving up when times are tough. I never used to give up easily, but now I just never give up. Period.
As Paramahamsa Yogananda Said “ the season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success”
- I became happier : With kriya I anchored in divine joy so the stresses and worries of the mundane stopped bothering me so much. It is a process and even now if I get frazzled, I quickly return to my peaceful state. It is happening much faster.
- My self worth increased : I stopped attaching my self- worth to material success and to all the wrong things and I anchored it in God and guru. This was completely life changing. I am not saying here that I am not enjoying material success or not working hard on my goals, but I do it from a very secure place of higher wisdom and knowledge.
- Self realization and wisdom : I was not afraid anymore in my life to follow my life purpose and I could make the right decisions in my life. As I did spiritual development I was able to breakthrough all the social and family beliefs that were a hinderance in living my true and authentic life.
- I became a better human being :- I let go of all comparison and jealousy and realized there is no need for that. We can become truly happy by making others happy and by giving selflessly, so there is no need to compete . When you meditate you realize it’s a moot point to compare as everyone’s journey, karma, capabilities and gifts are different. It is just a waste of time, so you start focusing on your own issues and start solving them which make you much happier in the long run.
- I literally changed my horoscope:- So my mom took me to an astrologer once and I clearly remember what he said, it rang in my ears for a long time to come. He said this horoscope has all the planets in the right places but they are not working, like having all the light bulbs but having no electricity. The planets are not working in her favour. So what did I do ? Lord Krishna said once “ Make your enemies your friends and you will have no enemies then” I befriended the Navagrahas, I even did a series called the Love for Navagrahas on youtube ( https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXxkao-55S-JI8ol_ZJBwzQ ). When I said I befriended the Navagraha’s I really sent them unconditional love, I tried to understand them and made friends with them. It’s their job to give us things as per our karmic blueprint that is our horoscope, but we are not out horoscope , we are the Soul. No karma can withstand unconditional love, it breaks down. Instead of blaming them I fixed my own karma, you can read more about that on my blog as this article possibly cannot cover all of that ( www.pinkflamingo.life) . Doing kriya gave me this higher wisdom, and My gurus held me while I dared to do the almost impossible and removed any and all misfortune from my chart.
Kriya made me very rich and successful in the true sense of the world. Like master said “ Possession of material riches without inner peace, is like dying of thirst while bathing in a lake. If material poverty is to be avoided, spiritual poverty is to be abhorred. For it is spiritual poverty, not material lack, that lies at the core of all human suffering”.
So in all honesty I might have started on this journey for selfish reasons, but this journey completely changed me and I became confident, peaceful and successful in the knowing that we can only do what we are meant to do now . Live in the moment, work to be better human beings constantly and the future will take care of itself.