I am Raavan
After about two years of my spiritual practice when I thought I have become this great Gyaani, it dawned on me one day what I actually had become was even worse than before. When you gather wisdom without self-work and without working on your ego, what do you expect to become ? At that point you are worse than a person who doesn’t know anything at all because you think you know everything, you have a certain amount of power. You are taking all the credit for your spiritual growth. You really think you are making it all happen ad you are so great and everyone should be grateful to you. So what happens when you become Ravaan ? you have die. Of course I didn’t die for real, it’s more of a symbolic death, or change, or transformation. And the funny thing is you really think you are like the nicest person around while you are operating from that ego space, well, you are only delusional. It is actually very difficult to have this realization, so lets be kind to me.
I did have it finally and then I started this journey of self work where I consciously started operating in Sat-chit-Anand and humility. Every time you are given a choice , chose humility over power. Every time. I read in a book that India had such great rishis, when they looked at you they could actually tell everything about 25 generations behind you and ahead of you just by glancing at you, and those rishis knew something. So I know nothing, I am only seeking knowledge and I can only share what I have learnt on this path of seeking.
This whole writeup is to establish that we all have 10 heads like Ravaan and we need to get out of our ego space and work on ourselves. I am sharing this with you because it took me two years to reach here and I don’t want you to spend time on this realization. Because all the work before this is moot, null and void anyway. Real work only starts from here. So how I dealt with my ego is I prostrated before Maa Kaali to take my ego away. You see the head in her left hand is usually human ego, slain ofcourse. She is the most loving and beloved Goddess and she complied. ( I feel she is really misunderstood ). So what I essentially used is Bhakti Yoga, you can ask any God to take your ego and trust me they all are waiting for this moment, more than you know. How many people actually ask God that please take my ego away. Far than fewer. You just have to be sincere. Similarly you have other heads like greed, anger, lust, sloth etc. and you can work on them one by one. I had to completely outsource ego, because frankly it’s too difficult to do it on your own. You can definitely try it, if you wish to. Even after you are ready to give it up, always remember everything has layers, even ego so it’s a continuous process and you will be tested at each layer, but you can do it. Ego creeps in very slowly and slyly and it’s a battle, but you have to fight this one because everything depends on it.
So am I completely egoless ?? No. If that happens I will have no attachment with my body anymore and I will fly off the face of earth. But now I know better to take credit for anything that is happening In my life, good or bad, and I am not an asshole most of the time. Still reserve the right to be one sometimes. And I am no Ravaan anymore …. I have but one head now and it is much lighter.